As my super sweet sixteen or whatever mindless rot she calls entertainment played on the television I sat there last night next to her on the couch, scrubbing with cleanser and a scotch brite pad. She sat unflinching, fucked up on whatever pharmacological combination she decided to exceed the normal dosage on that particular evening. I would throw glances at her as I paused to rest my tired wrist from removing the etched tomato carbon from my pans.
She is the essence of hypocrisy. A social work grad student who could use some herself. An alcoholic by design without the skills to function on her own for a mere instant. So co dependent that she cannot leave her thirty plus boyfriend and continues to sleep with him after multitudinous examples of him treating her like the filth she lives in. She has more bottles of pills in her night stand than Walgreen’s and you never can tell how highly medicated she truly is.
I know that I have many issues myself. I am arrogant and have a tendency to look down on people, but I have only shown her kindness. Especially in her times of deepest need.
She sat while I droned out some of the reality television with my scrubbing of the pot she fucked up. I was rendering it new again with the help of powerful chemicals. Stainless steel has a quality that people can never have, it can exist in a pool of quagmire and dirt can be caked to its sides, yet it can always be polished to its original luster.
She notices my gleaming pots and pans, fresh from scrubbing. I placed them out of the reach of her culinary ignorance in my closet last night. She said nothing. She comes in today with all of her shit pots and pans with rhetoric on how “roommates fuck up your shit, thats what happens,” and “K and I can use these and you can use those.” Fine with me my dear.
Then she ordered some cheesy bread yesterday. She was furious with me, because “I always eat all of her things and I just think it is so disrespectful.” So now we are on I eat my stuff and you eat yours. Respect is a fools catchphrase for when they know not the source of their aggravation. She knows nothing of respect, it is clear by the way she lets herself be treated and treats others. She is too weak to even live her life without the help of uppers and downers.
So degrade the living conditions and I think we have yet to see how far down the rabbit hole we go.