Human beings were designed to operate under high levels of stress. If it be hormones, temperament, or a combination of both, some people just do not deal well with it. Drug companies are made rich because people are not able to cope. However we are designed for it, and I thrive in it.

I remember when I was a child and I went to a waterpark with my father. There was a kneeboarding ride that was quite difficult for me to get. One would sit in the appropriate position and an advanced system of high overhead pulleys would yank you along at terrific speed. I failed at it repeatedly, as the handle was yanked from my hands or I was ripped from the board into the water. Resigned to never complete the ride, it remains a prevalent memory for me as a defeat. I was afraid of the ride because I could not complete it, but I kept trying because I wanted to conquer everything.

Most lecturers on the subject maintain that visualization is the most powerful force. I am inclined to agree, however I believe that discipline has a large role to play in acquiring success. These last few days have been busy without much rest. I am up late researching on the computer, up early exercising, and working. Slowly returning to the basics, the practices that gave me the few successes that I now enjoy. I am determined to succeed because I have wanted it for many years now. It was personal drive that goaded me to take loads of classes a semester, to work multipule jobs, to control my diet to a science.

When all diversions from the core are said and done, I always return to that which has made me who I am. The foundations of success, hard work and preparation. I was on myspace looking at some hyper muscular female bodybuilders. How alienated they must be, shunned by both men and women at times yet they still craft themselves and harness their abilities. One quotation stuck out at me from Romans chapter 12: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

There are so many that act simply because their peers do so, because it seems to be what everyone else does at ‘that age.’ I reject those that hide behind the guise of social service because they are too afraid to realize their failure in helping themselves, and I equally dislike those that revel prosperity as if it were of substance, almost as if it were divine right. I reject all notions of following the status quo, for to me it is inconsequential what the prototypical college student does, it only matters what I do.

Now begins the countdown to some major decisions, stress will aid me in making better choices. Stress will not inhibit my function.

We aren’t built to be happy. Rather, we are built to survive and reproduce.
We wouldn’t be here today if our ancestors didn’t struggle mightily to protect
and feed their families. The promise of happiness, meanwhile, is just a trick to
jolly us along.

I could not agree more, as I am so frequently quesitoned by my mantra
that I am most productive when depressed.

My days are now filled working every second I can, reading for advancement, and enhancing myself to my former physical glory. I will not fail because I dwell on success like an owl dwells on the twilight.